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<p>[QUOTE="Seattlite86, post: 3333447, member: 59737"]I’m going to start by admitting I didn’t read all the comments here as I stopped on the first page. I have some questions for the OP, because it seems half of us are jumping to conclusions:</p><p><br /></p><p>How did she bring up the subject? Does she have something she wants to buy that maybe you can’t afford right now? How long have you been together? Does she have her own hobby? How do you decide when you are allowed to purchase something for your hobby? Does she spend as much money on herself as you do yourself? Have you asked her if she wants a divorce? Has she ever asked you to sell your collection in the past? Question for yourself: how much is your collection worth and how much money could you two have if you sold it?</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>I am still trying to reconcile all of these comments telling a married man, who promised to share the rest of his life with a woman, to hide things from her and keep things only for himself. It is my humble opinion that anything acquired during a marriage, regardless of who bought it, belongs to the family. Sure, it’s your collection, but that money came from your family funds and when you sell the coins, it should go back to your family funds. I feel that the mine vs yours mindset is one of the biggest reasons people are unhappy in relationships, because it often leads to imbalances. Each of you contributes to the entirety of the family, whether it be through money or action. Especially in cases where only one person works, the other usually tends to the home and balances out the family in other ways. What an unfair thing to say that something is “mine” simply because I asked my spouse to stay home and tend to the house and so we bought it with “my” money. How do you put a price on everything the other person did in the marriage, the sacrifices made, the opportunities passed up, to make that other spouse successful? My answer, and consequently also often the legal answer? Half.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>I have personally experienced a nasty, contested divorce and had my coin collection gone after and I lost half of the value in the end. Here is my advice to you: hide <b><u>nothing</u></b>. Talk through <b><u>everything</u></b>. If it’s really a divorce on the horizon, make compromises and <b><u>stay out of court</u></b>. Do <b><u>NOT</u></b> short sale anything to a friend trying to get around splitting it. Don’t play games, don’t lie. If it ever came to court, there’s a thing called “discovery” where you pool all the info on your bank accounts, investments, assets, debts, purchases, etc. and go through them. If you bought a coin with a credit card, it’s going to be on the statement you provide in the discovery. If you have a list of coins you own, she’s going to demand you share that list. You cannot get around this; the very fact that you’ve shared this message publicly means it is too late. Anything acquired during marriage is generally considered owned by both husband and wife (though you should check your state accordingly). Don’t forget that vehicles, investments, bank accounts, furniture, property, etc are all assets that are up for scrutiny in a divorce.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>IF you wanted to in any way save yourself some money, you could take the coins to a coin store, explain that you need your collection appraised but aren’t selling. Ask for them to provide you some written documentation and pay them for their efforts, or buy a few coins while there. They often offer less than book value and it might save you a little cash if you wish to keep your coins and simply give her half the value. No point in paying book value when you can't sell it for that much. But if you did that, half the value should be coming only out of your half of the pooled assets after the split, and not before. I’m happy to talk to you in a PM if you have more questions about contested divorces. I’m not a lawyer, but I learned a lot from getting burned.[/QUOTE]</p><p><br /></p>
[QUOTE="Seattlite86, post: 3333447, member: 59737"]I’m going to start by admitting I didn’t read all the comments here as I stopped on the first page. I have some questions for the OP, because it seems half of us are jumping to conclusions: How did she bring up the subject? Does she have something she wants to buy that maybe you can’t afford right now? How long have you been together? Does she have her own hobby? How do you decide when you are allowed to purchase something for your hobby? Does she spend as much money on herself as you do yourself? Have you asked her if she wants a divorce? Has she ever asked you to sell your collection in the past? Question for yourself: how much is your collection worth and how much money could you two have if you sold it? I am still trying to reconcile all of these comments telling a married man, who promised to share the rest of his life with a woman, to hide things from her and keep things only for himself. It is my humble opinion that anything acquired during a marriage, regardless of who bought it, belongs to the family. Sure, it’s your collection, but that money came from your family funds and when you sell the coins, it should go back to your family funds. I feel that the mine vs yours mindset is one of the biggest reasons people are unhappy in relationships, because it often leads to imbalances. Each of you contributes to the entirety of the family, whether it be through money or action. Especially in cases where only one person works, the other usually tends to the home and balances out the family in other ways. What an unfair thing to say that something is “mine” simply because I asked my spouse to stay home and tend to the house and so we bought it with “my” money. How do you put a price on everything the other person did in the marriage, the sacrifices made, the opportunities passed up, to make that other spouse successful? My answer, and consequently also often the legal answer? Half. I have personally experienced a nasty, contested divorce and had my coin collection gone after and I lost half of the value in the end. Here is my advice to you: hide [B][U]nothing[/U][/B]. Talk through [B][U]everything[/U][/B]. If it’s really a divorce on the horizon, make compromises and [B][U]stay out of court[/U][/B]. Do [B][U]NOT[/U][/B] short sale anything to a friend trying to get around splitting it. Don’t play games, don’t lie. If it ever came to court, there’s a thing called “discovery” where you pool all the info on your bank accounts, investments, assets, debts, purchases, etc. and go through them. If you bought a coin with a credit card, it’s going to be on the statement you provide in the discovery. If you have a list of coins you own, she’s going to demand you share that list. You cannot get around this; the very fact that you’ve shared this message publicly means it is too late. Anything acquired during marriage is generally considered owned by both husband and wife (though you should check your state accordingly). Don’t forget that vehicles, investments, bank accounts, furniture, property, etc are all assets that are up for scrutiny in a divorce. IF you wanted to in any way save yourself some money, you could take the coins to a coin store, explain that you need your collection appraised but aren’t selling. Ask for them to provide you some written documentation and pay them for their efforts, or buy a few coins while there. They often offer less than book value and it might save you a little cash if you wish to keep your coins and simply give her half the value. No point in paying book value when you can't sell it for that much. But if you did that, half the value should be coming only out of your half of the pooled assets after the split, and not before. I’m happy to talk to you in a PM if you have more questions about contested divorces. I’m not a lawyer, but I learned a lot from getting burned.[/QUOTE]
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