To Will or Not to Will?

I agree one must consider the personal characteristics of potential heirs and those closest to them. However, the cases you mention must be exceptions. I’m familiar with the settlement of dozens of estates of relatives and friends. Only one had a problem, which occurred when one group of relatives plundered the house of the deceased before it could be secured.

Cal

 

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Yeah, it is always sad how people can destroy family relations forever over short term greed. I had an aunt who was literally on her death bed with a brain stem stroke, and her daughters pulling on her arthritic hands to remove rings "Mom always wanted me to have". You cannot unsee that. My sister and I went the other way, putting every piece of good jewelry on our mother at her funeral.

 

I have 3 children, 1 grandchildren, an ex-wife and my current wife. My ex left me for her high school sweetheart who is a bum. My daughters listened to their mother and don't have anything to do with me. My son and his wife and 4 daughters live in Atlanta and I live outside of Fayetteville, NC. The come up and visit me at least twice a year. They don't need anything because their father learned how to make money and doesn't need money, but does appreciate it when he works hard to make it. When my father lost his life in a car accident, he had the foresight to make an airtight will. My mother got everything, but when she died, it was divided between their 4 children. His coin collection was left to my brother and me. My brother didn't know much about the coin collection, but he trusted his CPA brother (me) to divide the coins. I divided it equitably (as I think was right) and it was separated into A or B. I gave him the choice of which one he wanted and I took the other one. He doesn't know anything about coins, so he held onto them. Recently, he asked me to do something for him and if I did, he would give me his collection. I told him, no, that I would do as he asked, but if he would sell them to me, I would love to buy them. I knew what he had and what it was appraised at and I told him I would buy his coins. I love my brother and I trust him, but he is too kind to me and he would give me everything if I asked him. I did get about 20 Morgans and 10 Peace dollars. Not everyone's family is out to rob you blind or on your death bed.

 

The six cases I referenced were comprised of 5 unrelated families.

 

Since many of us do want our wishes carried out when we kick the bucket. Could you share with us what happened in those six cases. So we can learn what not to do.

 

I won't be able to do it today, but I'll try to put something coherent down this evening.

 

Was able to free up some time.

The big estate, $11+ Million, was circumvented even though there was a very good will in place by an estate atty. My friend left everything to his wife, with $250K for son & daughter. Upon wife's death, the estate would go to his son and daughter. Pretty straight forward. His wife had been previously married and had a daughter who my friend could not stand. She was barred from his will. She wasn't even allowed in the house.

What wasn't foreseen is that his wife would have a stroke about a year before my friend died. She was doing fair but had some cognitive issues. About this time my friend had some major issues with his health and died. He hadn't time to change is will even if he could. The stepdaughter swooped in and took over the household and became the caregiver for her mother who wasn't always there mentally. She barred my friend's son and daughter out of the house because it was now the stepdaughter's mother's home.

Within a matter of weeks, before probate (yes, illegal), she started liquidating millions of dollars of assets. It all disappeared. Ammo cans of gold, silver, diamonds, boxes of coins, 1000+ guns, and sold off 16 properties that were now in her mother's name. She put her mother in a nursing home and pocketed the millions.

A second one was my father who had remarried. His will stipulated that when he died, his wife would have the profits from his business until she died, and it would then revert to my sister and me. He died of a heart attack at 3:30 AM. By 8AM his bank and savings accounts had been cleaned out. By noon the business had been raided. We were then told that she was liquidating the business and if my sister and I wanted it, we would have to buy it. Gone.

A third involved an elderly husband and wife. The will stipulated that when they passed, the assets would go to the 3 sons, split equally. If one of the sons had died, his share would be split by their children. The wife had passed away previously. Then one of the sons died, leaving his portion to be split by his children. When the elderly husband died the youngest son let it be known that there wasn't anything left. Everything had been signed over to him. What nobody knew was that for years, the youngest son had convinced the husband to slowly sign everything over.

A Forth envolved a friend with about $6-7 Million in assets. His wife was to receive the goodies and if she had passed, it was to go to his grandsons. He developed Alzheimers and his wife was undulated by trips to a nursing home, her own health, and bunches of relatives hovering around harassing her. I repeatedly tried to help her straighten out their assets and liquidate which included very expensive lake property, farmland, 16-17 classic corvettes, a 100' metal shed packed with early corvette parts, 200+ guns, and piles of old coins. She mentally couldn't handle it. She was badgered by her relatives. She had a stroke and the neighbors and shirttail relatives descended and made off with 90%. She ended up with little and died in a ratty nursing home.

I'll give up here as it is depressing reliving this.

I know you will say that people should pay more attention and take care of their assets. Life happens and that sort of slips away. Or, they should have gone to court. Well, easier said than done sometimes. Especially in small towns, and with crooked people that know how to cover their tracks.

 

Thanks for posting. In the first two cases, a properly setup trust could have probably prevented the negative outcomes. The crooks would have never had the opportunity to get at the majority of the assets. The second two … well, if an aged person is still considered legally competent, there’s not much that can be done to prevent them from mismanaging their assets or will.

Cal

 

Yes, in the case of the 11 mil estate, I think too a large portion would have been saved. Actually, it was probably a lot higher as he built a $60 mil city block size apartment/shopping center. However, the stepdaughter was there while my friend was lying dead in bed and she was ransacking the house. There wouldn't have been much of an inventory in the portable assets. Gold, silver, diamonds, military & nazi memorabilia ($2 mil). He purposely kept a lot of his assets off the books. Wasn't anticipating his stepdaughter taking command of everything.

In my father's case. He was too trusting. Didn't think he needed a trust.

 

I've been surprised at how many expensive items some of my deceased relatives had unsecured in their homes ... coins, silver dishes, jewelry, cash, timepieces, guns, etc. Much of this would not have been covered by insurance. They grew-up in an age of more trust or maybe just didn't realize the total value of what they had accumulated over a lifetime.

Cal

 

My folks built a really nice estate over the years. When dad passed, he ask that everything be used to take care of mom for the rest of her life. They did not want others to pay for their care until everything was gone.
That was up to me to make sure it happened. All the grand kids and my sister in law are still pissed at me for not giving them part of the estate. They did not understand that I had to do what my dad wished for me to do. Every penny went for mom's care. She went broke a while back.
Mom is still with me and turns 90 in a few days. I'm blessed to still have her.