Bob and Joe, walking down the street, come upon a dog licking his groin. Bob: I wish I could do that. Joe: I think you might want to pat him first.
UPDATE These all have been really great thanks guys! Although none of these have made me laugh yet, that Mars one by Caz gave me a tiny chuckle so they might get something for that. C'mon guys you can do better! I'll raise the posting limit to 6 each.
Bob and Joe were on a Hunting trip in Montana. Joe knows nothing of hunting so bob says "Now Joe, the key to hunting is to shoot anything that moves" "Okay" BANG!!!! "Got him, Bob." ... "Bob?"
Three death row prisoners were hauled out to meet their fate on the firing wall. The First prisoner steps out facing the wall and the commander shouts "Ready, Aim" and the prisoner shouts "EARTHQUAKE!!!" The soldiers go to the ground and the prisoner escapes. The second one comes out and the commander shouts "Ready. Aim..." The prisoner shouts "TORNADO!!!" The soldiers go to the ground and the prisoner escapes. The third prisoner noticed the trend: Before the soldiers shoot, yell out a natural disaster. The prisoner goes up to the wall and the commander shouts "Ready. Aim..." The prisoner shouts "FIRE!!!!"
World sea levels are rising at an alarming rate. The Eurozone is teetering on the brink. Iran and Israel may precipitate a world war. Jessica Simpson is upset because she can't get her old figure back. Sorry, but I just don't feel like trying to make somebody laugh.
