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<p>[QUOTE="Southernman189, post: 8083713, member: 34674"]<font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="Times New Roman"><p style="text-align: center"><b><font face="Typewriter"><font size="7"><span style="color: #800000">You're Gonna Love This!</span></font></font></b></p></font></span></font></p><p style="text-align: center"><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="Times New Roman"> </p></font></span></font></p><p style="text-align: center"><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="Times New Roman"> </p></font></span></font></p><p style="text-align: center"><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="Times New Roman"> </p></font></span></font></p><p style="text-align: center"><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="Times New Roman"> </p></font></span></font></p><p style="text-align: center"><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="Times New Roman"> </p></font></span></font></p><p style="text-align: center"><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="Times New Roman"> </p></font></span></font></p><p style="text-align: center"><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="Times New Roman"> </p></font></span></font></p><p style="text-align: center"><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="Times New Roman"> </p></font></span></font></p><p style="text-align: center"><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="Times New Roman"> </p><p></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><b><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="2">(True Story )</font></font></font></b></span></font></p><p style="text-align: center"><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="5">THE $2.00 BILL I TRIED TO SPEND:</font></font></b></font></p></span></font></p><p style="text-align: center"><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="2">IF YOU'RE AS OLD AS I AM, THIS IS A RIOT!</font></font></font></p><p><font face="New"><br /></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><br /></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><br /></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">Everyone should start carrying $2 bills!</font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">I am STILL laughing!! I think we need to quit saving</font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">our $2 bills and bring them out in public. The younger</font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">generation doesn't even know they exist.</font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: red"><br /></span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: red">STORY:</span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for</font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">a quick bite to eat . In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill.</font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><br /></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not</font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">have to worry about anyone gettin g irritated at me for trying</font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">to break a $50 bill.</font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue"><br /></span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue">Me:</span> 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.'<span style="color: #996633"></span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #996633">Server:</span> 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'<span style="color: blue"></span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue">Me:</span> 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand</font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.<span style="color: #996633"></span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #996633">Server:</span> 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.'</font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><br /></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.</font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">The following conversation occurs between the two of them:</font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #996633"><br /></span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #996633">Server:</span> 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager</span>: 'No. A what?'<span style="color: #996633"></span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #996633">Server:</span> 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me.'<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager:</span> 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'<span style="color: #996633"></span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #996633">Server:</span> 'Yeah, thought so.' He comes back to me and says,</font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">'We don't take these. Do you have anything else?'<span style="color: blue"></span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue">Me</span>: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?'<span style="color: #996633"></span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #996633">Server:</span> 'I don't know.'<span style="color: blue"></span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue">Me:</span> 'See here where it says legal tender?'<span style="color: #996633"></span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #996633">Server:</span> 'Yeah.'<span style="color: blue"></span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue">Me:</span> 'So, why won't you take it?'<span style="color: #996633"></span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #996633">Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.'</span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #996633"><br /></span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #996633">He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me</span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #996633">like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'</span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #996633"><span style="color: #ff8000"><br /></span></span></font></font></b></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #996633"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager:</span></span></font></font></b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"> <font size="4"> 'Doesn't he have anything else?'<span style="color: #996633"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #996633">Server:</span> 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager:</span></font> <font size="4"> 'I'm not ope ning t he safe with him in here.'<span style="color: #996633"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #996633">Server:</span> 'What should I do?'<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager:</span> 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'<span style="color: #996633"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #996633">Server</span>: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager:</span></font> <font size="4"> 'Just tell him.'<span style="color: #996633"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #996633">Server:</span> 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><br /></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">The <span style="color: #ff8000">manager</span> approaches me and says, 'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of nig ht.'</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue"><br /></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue">Me:</span> 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager:</span> 'We don't take those, either.'<span style="color: blue"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue">Me:</span> 'Why not?'<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager:</span> 'I think you know why.'<span style="color: blue"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue">Me:</span> 'No really, tell me why.'<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager</span>: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'<span style="color: blue"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue">Me:</span> 'Excuse me?'<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager:</span> 'Please leave before I call mall security.'<span style="color: blue"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue">Me:</span> 'What on earth for?'<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager: </span> 'Please, sir.'<span style="color: blue"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue">Me:</span> 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager: </span> 'Would you please just leave?'<span style="color: blue"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue">Me:</span> 'No.'<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager: </span> 'Fine -- have it your way then.'<span style="color: blue"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue">Me: </span> 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><br /></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner.</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><br /></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy Comes in.</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><br /></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">Guard: 'Yeah, Mike , what's up?'<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager (whispering):< /SPAN> </span> 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.'</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">Guard: 'No kidding! What?'<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager:</span> 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?'<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager: </span> 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.'</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!'<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager: </span> 'No, the two dollar bill is.'</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?'<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager</span>: 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">Guard: 'Yeah.'</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><br /></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">Security Guard walks over to me and.....</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><br /></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">Guard: ' Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're try ing to use.'<span style="color: blue"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue">Me:</span> 'Uh, no.'</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'<span style="color: blue"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue">Me: </span> 'Why?'</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue"><br /></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: blue">At this point I</span> am ready to say, ' Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so <span style="color: blue">I say</span>, 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill.</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><br /></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I 'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 'Hey, Mike , what's wrong with this bill?'</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000"><br /></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager:</span> 'It's fake.'</font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.'<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'</span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">Guard: 'Yeah? '<span style="color: #ff8000"></span></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000"><span style="color: #ff8000">Manager:</span> 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'</span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000"><br /></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue.</span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000"><br /></span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><span style="color: #ff8000">So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too. Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too.</span></font></font></b></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="5"><br /></font></font></b></font></font></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="5">Just think...those two will be voting soon</font></font></b></font></font></font></font></font></span></font></p><p><font face="arial"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><font face="New"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b><font face="Arial"><font size="4">....YIKES!!!</font></font></b></font></font></font></font></font></span></font>[/QUOTE]</p><p><br /></p>
[QUOTE="Southernman189, post: 8083713, member: 34674"][FONT=arial][COLOR=rgb(0, 0, 0)][FONT=Times New Roman][CENTER][B][FONT=Typewriter][SIZE=7][COLOR=#800000]You're Gonna Love This![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [/CENTER][/FONT] [B][FONT=New][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2](True Story )[/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][/B] [CENTER][FONT=New][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=5]THE $2.00 BILL I TRIED TO SPEND:[/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]IF YOU'RE AS OLD AS I AM, THIS IS A RIOT![/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [FONT=New][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=4] Everyone should start carrying $2 bills! I am STILL laughing!! I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public. The younger generation doesn't even know they exist. [COLOR=red] STORY:[/COLOR] On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat . In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about anyone gettin g irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill. [COLOR=blue] Me:[/COLOR] 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.'[COLOR=#996633] Server:[/COLOR] 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'[COLOR=blue] Me:[/COLOR] 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.[COLOR=#996633] Server:[/COLOR] 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.' He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them: [COLOR=#996633] Server:[/COLOR] 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager[/COLOR]: 'No. A what?'[COLOR=#996633] Server:[/COLOR] 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me.'[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager:[/COLOR] 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'[COLOR=#996633] Server:[/COLOR] 'Yeah, thought so.' He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these. Do you have anything else?'[COLOR=blue] Me[/COLOR]: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?'[COLOR=#996633] Server:[/COLOR] 'I don't know.'[COLOR=blue] Me:[/COLOR] 'See here where it says legal tender?'[COLOR=#996633] Server:[/COLOR] 'Yeah.'[COLOR=blue] Me:[/COLOR] 'So, why won't you take it?'[COLOR=#996633] Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.' He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.' [COLOR=#ff8000] Manager:[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=4][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][SIZE=4] 'Doesn't he have anything else?'[COLOR=#996633] Server:[/COLOR] 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager:[/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][SIZE=4] 'I'm not ope ning t he safe with him in here.'[COLOR=#996633] Server:[/COLOR] 'What should I do?'[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager:[/COLOR] 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'[COLOR=#996633] Server[/COLOR]: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager:[/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][SIZE=4] 'Just tell him.'[COLOR=#996633] Server:[/COLOR] 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back. The [COLOR=#ff8000]manager[/COLOR] approaches me and says, 'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of nig ht.' [COLOR=blue] Me:[/COLOR] 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager:[/COLOR] 'We don't take those, either.'[COLOR=blue] Me:[/COLOR] 'Why not?'[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager:[/COLOR] 'I think you know why.'[COLOR=blue] Me:[/COLOR] 'No really, tell me why.'[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager[/COLOR]: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'[COLOR=blue] Me:[/COLOR] 'Excuse me?'[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager:[/COLOR] 'Please leave before I call mall security.'[COLOR=blue] Me:[/COLOR] 'What on earth for?'[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager: [/COLOR] 'Please, sir.'[COLOR=blue] Me:[/COLOR] 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager: [/COLOR] 'Would you please just leave?'[COLOR=blue] Me:[/COLOR] 'No.'[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager: [/COLOR] 'Fine -- have it your way then.'[COLOR=blue] Me: [/COLOR] 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?' At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy Comes in. Guard: 'Yeah, Mike , what's up?'[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager (whispering):< /SPAN> [/COLOR] 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.' Guard: 'No kidding! What?'[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager:[/COLOR] 'Get this. A two dollar bill.' Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?'[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager: [/COLOR] 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.' Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!'[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager: [/COLOR] 'No, the two dollar bill is.' Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?'[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager[/COLOR]: 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?' Guard: 'Yeah.' Security Guard walks over to me and..... Guard: ' Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're try ing to use.'[COLOR=blue] Me:[/COLOR] 'Uh, no.' Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'[COLOR=blue] Me: [/COLOR] 'Why?' Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?' [COLOR=blue] At this point I[/COLOR] am ready to say, ' Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so [COLOR=blue]I say[/COLOR], 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I 'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 'Hey, Mike , what's wrong with this bill?' [COLOR=#ff8000] Manager:[/COLOR] 'It's fake.' Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.'[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.' Guard: 'Yeah? '[COLOR=#ff8000] Manager:[/COLOR] 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?' The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too. Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=5] Just think...those two will be voting soon[/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]....YIKES!!![/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/QUOTE]
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