I was reading the Commodus epitome in Cassius Dio today and came across this excellent one liner from Priscus who was hailed by the British troop as emperor: ' The soldiers in Britain chose Priscus, a lieutenant, emperor; but he declined, saying: "I am no more an emperor than you are soldiers" ' Obviously, these snappy little anecdotes are highly suspect, but that doesn't make them less witty. What are your favourite comical passages in the ancient sources?
Another gem from the same source. On the subject of Cleander, a freedman placed in charge of state affairs by the neglectful Commodus, selling all the titles of state, ' In fact, some men became senators only after spending all they possessed, so that it was said of Julius Solon, a very obscure man, that he had been stripped of all his property and banished to — the senate. '
Marcus Portius Cato: "After I'm dead, I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one."
Both of my favorite ancient witticisms are from the Emperor Vespasian. while dying he is supposed to have said "I fear I'm becoming a god". And to his son Titus he quipped "Pecunia non olet" or "money doesn't stink", after Titus teased him for taxing urinals. To this day , in Italy, public urinals are called "Vespasiani". I guess Romans have long memories.
