I agree this happens not only on this forum but others. As a moderator on the another forum I try to make sure first time posters do not get blasted too much, even when they ask what the experts(and regulars) consider "silly, unresearched" questions. Just like this forum you get a lot of poster that pop in ask a question and are never heard from again. I also think some posts come off harsh that are really not meant to be harsh. Then again, some posters are more sensitive than others. And at times I just like to argue and I won't go easily - just remember I always mean it to be fun.
There are other forums which I'll not name which are much less nice to new participant's questions. I have seen reponses such as "this topic was clearly already discussed at length two years ago" with no reference of how to find it. There has also been the silent treatment-- no one responds, as if the question is beneath the Collective Wisdom of the Group. And then there has been making the question into a joke. That's probably the worst I've personally experienced. So, on balance, I would say there's room for improvement here and there, but overall folks here are pretty nice. As for spel chek, well, yeah, I resemble that remark!
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. And if you can't say what you say nicely, then you should probably keep it to yourself... unless it's funny, in which case... screw it... say whatever you want...