Cleaning coins with dog slobber, toothpaste, and spacey metal polish stuff

Eureka!After many years of painstaking research, I have finally done it.I have discovered the IDEAL method for cleaning coins. It is safe, inexpensive, quick, easy, and 100% guaranteed to leave no trace of cleaning detectable by even the most advanced of methods.I am so confident in this method, I have chosen this nearly priceless 2001 Vermont State Quarter to demonstrate my method to you all. Obviously I wouldn't risk such a valuable numismatic treasure unless I was absolutely certain of the results.



First, clean the coin thoroughly with tooth paste. This will remove any caked on grime and gunk, and allow the dog slobber to reach the surface below in the next step.



The next step is the most important. It is THIS STEP that provides the layer of protection to the coin that renders the following steps safe and effective. Liberally prep the coin with dog slobber. Not just any dog will do, however! Only the slobber of a German Shepherd contains the correct proteins, amino acids, and bacteria to combine with the metal of the coin to form the protective layer we need.



Don't worry if you don't see this layer developing. It's INVISIBLE! (As it must be, of course, to remain undetectable by the top grading companies)Next, you'll need Deep Space Polish. I'm not really sure what part of space it comes from, but I had it laying around, and it does a nice job. It can't be very expensive, otherwise I wouldn't have it.



Polish the coin to your heart's content. Don't worry about damaging the surface, the dog slobber will protect the coin!Here is the finished result. I've done some very slight post-processing of the image, but nothing major that alters the look of the coin in hand.



Feel free to PM me with any questions about the process. I'll be sending the coin to PCGS with my next submission of circulated 1990-2000 Lincoln Cents. I'll let you know the final grade!

 

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:yes:

 

That is just too funny! I hope it grades MS73 now!

 

wow that is gem BU now!

 

If it doesn't, I'll crack it and resubmit.

 

btw I can guarantee someone will search Google for how to clean coins, find this thread, and take it seriously.

 

I've never seen a PCGS certified 1993 VF35 cent. They must be super rare and worth lots of money!

 

True...but your more sophisticated numismatists know tend not to invest in grade rarity.

 

What about that St Gaudens in MS67PL??? Its a Pop 4 and only has over 500 graded above it. I think a grade rarity would be fun!

 

It's like a car wash!

 

Nominee for 2012 best thread award. :yes:

 

I read this and just about fell out of my chair at work. Classic!

 

Great technique, I will be sure to go get a German Shepherd now.

 

I just used this method to clean up 5,000 wheat cents.

The coins look great but my dog is kinda cold and stiff.

 

Make sure you have the right dogs for the job. Like German Shepherds will only clean German coins. British Bulldogs will clean British coins, Kangals clean Turkish coins. Or else you're just going to get a bright shiny Chinese fakes coming out. Are you willing to risk your beautiful 1913 Liberty nickel for a bump in grade?

 

Wonderful advise!!!

 

I believe you are in error. German Shepherds are the only dogs I've found for coins from ANY country.

Since this is the internet, I believe we should now spend 9 pages arguing about this.

You go first.

 

GKLJUJP has it right.... let the coin pass through the digestive system. However, I would tie a long string to it in case the coin acts like a plug at the exit. It'll be far easier to pull the coin out rather than "probing" for it.

 

No, the dog's digestive system is far too short to do the job. I knew an organic farmer years ago who swore by "zoo doo"; zebras, elephants, lions, etc. have advanced digestive systems. If you could do a scientific study on the effects of their digestive systems on your coins, I'm sure the writers at Scientific American would like to know what you find out. The problem of course is timing their bowel movements to catch the coins and separate them. Kids are liable to swallow coins, I don't know what the effects are on the coins, but as far as the kids go, not good for health.