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<p>[QUOTE=&quot;TypeCoin971793, post: 5358165, member: 78244&quot;]Please enjoy my overly simplified history of the fascinating tale of Wang Mang:</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>Wang Mang was born into the fringes of a very rich family. He didn’t like spending money. He hated people who spent lots of money, so he hated all rich people. He devoted his life to scholarship and became a really neat guy and was popular with the people.</p><p><br /></p><p>Wang Mang was a really neat guy until he was forced into exile because he sat in the wrong seat at an important feast with the Emperor. While in exile, he stayed on the down-low to prevent any appearance of defying the Imperial family because he liked living. However, over 400,000 people still thought he was a really neat guy, so they made a petition to the imperial family to bring him back. Since that was kinda like everyone in the captial city, the imperial family invited him back. But Wang Mang was a changed man....</p><p><br /></p><p>He convinced everyone that his political rivals were corrupt infidels that must be killed. He convinced everyone that he totally didn’t kill anyone nor wished death on anyone. (Like literally “cross my heart and hope to die” stuff.) Then he took everyone’s money and promised the poor that he would redistribute it. Then he convinced everyone that he would totally not take over the empire if a baby was made emperor instead of the dozens of more-legitimate candidates. But of course, nobody saw it coming... </p><p><br /></p><p>When he took over the empire, everyone was like **surpised Pikachu face**. Then Wang Mang said “I am going to make a whole bunch of changes for your own good and you are going to like them.” And then the people were like “We don’t like change though. We’d rather starve to death.” And so they started starving to death</p><p><br /></p><p>And Wang Mang was like **surprised Pikachu face**</p><p><br /></p><p>So Wang Mang said “you are either going to like it or you are going to die.” And some of the people were like “death sounds like an okay option”, and the rest were like “oh okay, living is pretty neat.” So lots of people died</p><p><br /></p><p>Then people decided that they didn’t like dying, so they started a revolution. Civil servants found out that money was pretty neato and became hella corrupt. More people died</p><p><br /></p><p>Then the revolutionaries discovered a guy related to the Han Dynasty, and they said “this guy is our Lord and Savior. We want him to be in charge. Everything will be good again.”</p><p><br /></p><p>Apparently these peeps were quite convincing, because the revolt became a million strong.</p><p><br /></p><p>At this point, a famine was raging, so a million people flocked to the capital in search of food there. There wasn’t any, so most of the people starved to death. </p><p><br /></p><p>Oh the revolutionaries have arrived. They stormed the palace, killing everyone that seemed to have the slightest bit of support for Wang Mang. They found Wang Mang in a tower doing drugs, so they cut him up, ate him, and put his head in a museum, which burned down a few hundred years later.</p><p><br /></p><p>Oh, and spoiler alert, all of the money Wang Mang took from the rich before he took over the empire was still in his vault when he died. No redistribution actually happened because that would have been inconvenient. Also, between 30% and 50% of China’s population died.</p><p><br /></p><p>So moral of the story? Wang Mang was the OG Stalin before being Stalin was cool.</p><p><br /></p><p>The End.</p><p><br /></p><p>A hoard of Huo Quans I bought a couple years ago:</p><p><br /></p><p>[ATTACH=full]1227407[/ATTACH][/QUOTE]</p><p><br /></p>

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