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<p>[QUOTE=&quot;mrlayance, post: 32644, member: 1777&quot;]Copyright 1993 Captain Sarcastic (kkoller@nox.cs.du.edu)</p><p><br /></p><p>On my way home from the second job I&#039;ve taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting ****ed at me.</p><p><br /></p><p>Me: &quot;Hi, I&#039;d like one seven layer burrito please, to go.&quot;</p><p>Clerk: &quot;Is that it?&quot;</p><p>Me: &quot;Yep.&quot;</p><p>Clerk: &quot;That&#039;ll be $1.04, eat here?&quot;</p><p>Me: &quot;No, it&#039;s to go.&quot; [I hate effort duplication.]</p><p><br /></p><p>At this point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny and says,</p><p><br /></p><p>Clerk: &quot;Uh, hang on a sec, I&#039;ll be right back.&quot;</p><p><br /></p><p>He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them.</p><p><br /></p><p>Clerk: &quot;Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;No. A what?&quot;</p><p>Clerk: &quot;A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me.&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;Ask for something else, there&#039;s no such thing as a $2 bill.&quot;</p><p>Clerk: &quot;Yeah, thought so.&quot;</p><p><br /></p><p>He comes back to me and says,</p><p><br /></p><p>Clerk: &quot;We don&#039;t take these. Do you have anything else?&quot;</p><p>Me: &quot;Just this fifty. You don&#039;t take $2 bills? Why?&quot;</p><p>Clerk: &quot;I don&#039;t know.&quot;</p><p>Me: &quot;See here where it says legal tender?&quot;</p><p>Clerk: &quot;Yeah.&quot;</p><p>Me: &quot;So, shouldn&#039;t you take it?&quot;</p><p>Clerk: &quot;Well, hang on a sec.&quot;</p><p><br /></p><p>He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I&#039;m going to shoplift, and</p><p><br /></p><p>Clerk: &quot;He says I have to take it.&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;Doesn&#039;t he have anything else?&quot;</p><p>Clerk: &quot;Yeah, a fifty. I&#039;ll get it and you can open the safe and get change.&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;I&#039;m not opening the safe with him in here.&quot;</p><p>Clerk: &quot;What should I do?&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;Tell him to come back later when he has real money.&quot;</p><p>Clerk: &quot;I can&#039;t tell him that, you tell him.&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;Just tell him.&quot;</p><p>Clerk: &quot;No way, this is weird, I&#039;m going in back.&quot;</p><p><br /></p><p>The manager approaches me and says,</p><p><br /></p><p>Manager: &quot;Sorry, we don&#039;t take big bills this time of night.&quot;</p><p>&nbsp; [It was 8:00pm and this particular Taco Bell is in a well-lighted indoor mall with a hundred other stores.]</p><p>Me: &quot;Well, here&#039;s a two.&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;We don&#039;t take those either.&quot;</p><p>Me: &quot;Why the hell not?&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;I think you know why.&quot;</p><p>Me: &quot;No really, tell me, why?&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;Please leave before I call mall security.&quot;</p><p>Me: &quot;Excuse me?&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;Please leave before I call mall security.&quot;</p><p>Me: &quot;What the hell for?&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;Please, sir.&quot;</p><p>Me: &quot;Uh, go ahead, call them.&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;Would you please just leave?&quot;</p><p>Me: &quot;No.&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;Fine, have it your way then.&quot;</p><p>Me: &quot;No, that&#039;s Burger King, isn&#039;t it?&quot;</p><p><br /></p><p>At this point he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.</p><p><br /></p><p>A few minutes later, this 45-year-oldish guy comes in and says at the other end of counter, in a whisper:</p><p><br /></p><p>Security Guard: &quot;Yeah, Mike, what&#039;s up?&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;This guy is trying to give me some [pause] funny money.&quot;</p><p>Guard: &quot;Really? What?&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;Get this, a two dollar bill.&quot;</p><p>Guard: &quot;Why would a guy fake a $2 bill?&quot; [incredulous]</p><p>Manager: &quot;I don&#039;t know? He&#039;s kinda weird. Says the only other thing he has is a fifty.&quot;</p><p>Guard: &quot;So, the fifty&#039;s fake?&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;No, the $2 is.&quot;</p><p>Guard: &quot;Why would he fake a $2 bill?&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;I don&#039;t know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?&quot;</p><p>Guard: &quot;Yeah...&quot;</p><p><br /></p><p>Security guard walks over to me and says</p><p><br /></p><p>Guard: &quot;Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you&#039;re trying to use.&quot;</p><p>Me: &quot;Uh, no.&quot;</p><p>Guard: &quot;Lemme see &#039;em.&quot;</p><p>Me: &quot;Why?&quot;</p><p>Guard: &quot;Do you want me to get the cops in here?&quot;</p><p><br /></p><p>At this point I was ready to say, &quot;sure, please,&quot; but I wanted to eat, so I said,</p><p><br /></p><p>Me: &quot;I&#039;m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 bill.&quot;</p><p><br /></p><p>I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says</p><p><br /></p><p>Guard: &quot;Mike, what&#039;s wrong with this bill?&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;It&#039;s fake.&quot;</p><p>Guard: &quot;It doesn&#039;t look fake to me.&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;But it&#039;s a two-dollar bill.&quot;</p><p>Guard: &quot;Yeah?&quot;</p><p>Manager: &quot;Well, there&#039;s no such thing, is there?&quot;</p><p><br /></p><p>The security guard and I both looked at him like he was an idiot, and it dawned on the guy that he had no clue.</p><p><br /></p><p>My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon things, too. Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. At least you get free food...</p><p><br /></p><p><img src="http://www.digiserve.com/eescape/closet/silly/2-at-Taco-Bell.jpg" class="bbCodeImage wysiwygImage" alt="" unselectable="on" />[/QUOTE]</p><p><br /></p>

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