I posted this on the NGC forums as well as wanted to post it here. I've had unique experiences on both boards. I've been struggling with a deep depression lately. Was feeling very low, kept thinking of suicide. I've been slowly getting help though the last day...well today actually. I had a friend , another magician, my only close friend, I knew for 6 years. He took advantage of me, told me my parents were lying to me, "everything was a lie", "everything I learned in school was a lie." I had $400 from some gold coins I sold, in my paypal account. Mistakenly thinking he was right, I spent over $400 on him, trying to move in with him, food, gas, etc. And, then one day he asked me for a favor. He said, the manager of the shop his boss, the day before was terrible. He wanted to make up for it this day. So, he wanted me to give him $100 to make his shop "look like" he did well when he didn't. I never did get the money back. I told him that was a mistake. I've been focusing on my magic, although I'm not practicing as much as I should . I'm still interested in coins and numismatics, recently also quit a 12 year addiction to an online game....I'm 23 and have been playing it since I was 12. Growing up in high school, I had no friends. I would sit with these girls at a table just because they didn't make fun of me. I had no social life and no girlfriend. Pity party or not, some say, but, the game ruined my life. I'm glad to finally quit it. I have more to do now, and am trying to fill in the ties. I lost 93 lbs. I was 250 lbs, I'm now 153 lbs. I'm 57''. My bodyfat was around 30%, I'm now at around 6-8%. My 2 interests, passions, or, more correctly, obessiions, especially right now, are magic and numismatics. I've lost all interest in both lately, especially numismatics. I want to get back into it. But, I miss all of you guys, i hope some of you remember me.
I'm no stranger to online gaming addiction - World Of Warcraft took more time from my life than I care to admit. At first, there was not a day that went by when I didn't want to log back on and escape it all. Now it's nothing more than a passing memory, a remnant of an older version of myself - one that I don't like much anymore. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I've been where you are (or at least pretty close from what you've said) and I know that as corny as it might sound, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep doing what makes you happy - for me personally, I love working out. I've also lost about 70 lbs since quitting online gaming, I'm in the best shape of my life, in the Army, and soon to be working side-by-side with Special Forces. Talk about a 180. You can turn things around too, and it sounds like you're already well on your way. Congratulations, and keep going. Andrew
I have sufferd with manic deppresion for years and the best things you can do are get to the docs and get medication. And surround yourself with friends. I know it sounds sad but i did that by joining this site (i have otherfriends but none share my interests) also you have to think of all the positive things in life. For me thats is my daughter my partner my coins and my guitars. All the best
Hi Kevin, of course I remember you. I also envy you some. I also have the depression problem but learned to live with it. Don't have the gaming addition (I have a coin forum addiction) but do have the weight problem and you've been able to do a lot better than I have at beating it. Had the same problems in high school, no friends, no girlfriends (still have that problem). Only had one good friend in my life and he died back in 1991. But life goes on and the key is to keep trying, keep working on it. Read, study, keep practicing that magic. Get good at it and there is a potential career there. You're still young and you have a lot of good chances ahead of you.
Hang in there buddy! Sounds like you've made great progress on the weight problem. And welcome back to CoinTalk. You know you can always scratch that itch to talk coins on this forum.
Howdy Kevin - I'm sure a lot more folks remember you than you might think. Coin collectors are like that, we remember things, especially other collectors who share similar interests. But let's see how well you remember, what coin show was it where I met you and your mother ?
Hey Kevin, sorry to hear you've been having some problems lately, but it's good you're getting help, and it's great to see you posting again. Congratulations on the weight loss, 93 pounds is something to be damn proud of. Like Doug said, I bet you'll be surprised how many people remember you. I remember when you were first starting the weight loss, and you posted that thread in the GD about it, great to see you accomplished that goal. Even though I don't collect gold coins, I still have your counterfeit detection thread bookmarked, that was a great thread! -Mike
MY friend I DO not like to talk about this but you were honest and open since we are family here is my story. I to have been fighting depression for 25 years it was so bad that I tried to commit sucide more than once. In the late 1980,s I had to have 11 ECT TREATMENTS - ELECTRIC SHOCK TREATMENTS , sent to a special school that helps you acceppt depreesion and their main goal was to acceppt it because if you do not you can not expect anyone else to. I have been taking medication since then and will the rest of my life In the begginning I was seeing the dr. about twice a week NOW I GO ONCE A YEAR its tough i know , as you probably have reads , my father has terminal cancer, and I have had the transplants. But with family , fantastic & understanding wife, friends and all of you I.m going to make it BE STRONG AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF MY FRIEND P.M. ME ANY TIME SANDY
Everybody has some degree of depression. Yours is more prominent than average. There are over 25 different meds available for this. It can be controlled by the right med. Because you are suffering so badly, may I suggest you see a psychiatrist who speacilizes in Psychopharmacology. Many shrinks will want you to do talk therapy 3 times a week, ad infinitum. You need the shrink who is a Psychopharmacologist and will only see you to review your meds. They know the correct combinations and dosage much better than a regular shrink. If you have the time and $ to do talk therapy that is fine too. I'm sorry you're in pain. Good luck.
Perhaps, as DMiller above, the service might be a good thing for you. A lot of people who are confused or feel like they are not always in control have been helped by the structured and goal-oriented life the military offers. A side benefit for your coin collecting might be traveling to different parts of the world and learning about those currencies and cultures. Good luck to you.
Doug, it was the only major coin show I went to. The one in phoenix where I took the ANA's Conservation, Authentication and Grading class by Ben Silliman. It was nice to meet you Doug. I think I was much heavier then...
It looks like you're taking some positive steps there, and that's great. I would not be too concerned about losing interest in hobbies, that is most likely a result of being depressed. Treat the depression, if you haven't already, do go see a doctor about it. We'll still be here when you come back to being interested in coins. It's better to approach it in a healthy way than as an obsession too. Just don't beat yourself up about making mistakes with your "friend" (I put that in quotes, cause it doesn't sound like he was a real friend), we all misjudge people and it's how you learn from your past experience is what's important. Take care of yourself!
Then it's time you went to another one Kevin It doesn't even have to be a major one for at pretty much any coin show now a days you are likely to meet somebody there from this or one of the other coin forums. And that, to me, has always been an important part of the hobby. I think all of us have made special and life long friends that we would otherwise have never made just by participating on these coins forums. And it always adds something very special to that friendship by finally getting to meet these friends face to face. I know it always has for me and I'm sure it does you too. We all face tough times in our lives Kevin. But friends are one of the things that allow us to get through and past those times. A smile, a handshake, a hug - these things do more for us than we can ever admit to ourselves except upon reflection. And it is when we miss these things or when we face tough times that we must seek them out and by doing so overcome the difficulties that life presents us all with from time to time. So do that Kevin. You have more friends than you know. And by seeking them out you will bring goodness and happiness not only into your life, but into theirs as well. And when you can't seek them out in person, then seek them out just as you have done here. For even that can replace a frown of sadness with a smile
Dude: I speak with no expertise, only experience. Keeping your self physically fit is one of the keys to good mental health. Working out releases endorphins, your body's natural "feel good" compounds. After I broke my hip, I had to lose more than 50 pounds, not easy when one can't run and can only barely walk. But it was one of the best things I ever did. It seems like you have been doing that by losing all that weight. :thumb: A second key to mental health is re-programing the brain. Stop yourself from going down that "negative pathway" whenever you are thinking about things. :headbang: It is deceptively easy and comforting, but very BAD to rehash in one's mind all the betrayals, hurts, disappoinments, and bitterness we all experience. We all need to create a more positive attitude and a positive mental default response to events around us. Those embedded negative pathways are difficult to change, but they must be. Many times professional help is useful, too. Good luck. guy
