Making no friends in this hobby...

I've recently discovered CoinTalk, and I'm glad there's a place to read/share about my hobby/addiction. Kind of like an online support group. :smile

I'm 36, and while I'm not new to the hobby, I've only been at it a few years and have limited disposable income with which to build my collection. I've been interested in coins since I found my parents small stash of Spanish coins, plus one Morgan and two Peace dollars. It sounds unimpressive, but to my 10-year-old self it was like stumbling onto buried treasure. When I decided to start collecting seriously a few years back, I settled on building a U.S. type set, which has been a great endeavor for me. I've completed one set (sans gold) and am working on my second alongside my 11 year old son. My other son is into Canadian coins (don't know where that came from) and I've branched out into building year sets of Peace & Morgan dollars.

Here's where I'm going with this...I really enjoy the hobby, and I'm glad that my kids have found an interest in it as well, but I usually feel like I'm the only person in this hobby. I have many good friends, all of whom are happy to talk about sports or movies...but when I mention coins, they all kind of snicker and roll their eyes. So maybe coins aren't "cool" to everyone (who knew? LOL) but there have GOT to be some other people that share my interest on a similar level.

I know that most of you are already thinking, "Go to some coin shows or join a coin club" and those are good thoughts. I've done that, and I've enjoyed my time at those places. However, I'm still having trouble breaking past the initial small talk and finding a friend in the hobby. Everyone's interested as long as I'm buying something, but the conversation usually ends after I've handed over my money.

The other guys that I've met at the shows and the club are usually considerably older than me, which doesn't bother me, and they've got years of experience and typically much more extensive collections. Maybe to them I'm just a "kid" who's dabbling in THEIR hobby. I kind of feel like the kid who showed up for Major League baseball tryouts with a tee-ball bat in my hand.

How many of you have found good friends in the hobby? I'd like to find someone who I can talk coins with...someone who wants to show off their collection...someone that I can trade with...someone I can compare deals with...are those people out there?

pCG

 

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I hear what you're saying. And I can add that, as a 21-year-old who's into numismatics, nothing is harder than finding a peer (even at the university level!) who shares that same passion. Even my wife jokes about the hobby. If you find a friend who's as into it as you are, I'd consider yourself lucky. As for myself (and most others on this board), we're relegated to building our collections and talking to ourselves about our interests (right here is where the self-pity takes over, haha...).

 

MaestroPCG,

I have the exact same issue as you. At least you have your kids! I'm all by my lonesome. My wife and parents act interested, but I'm not convinced that it's much more than an act. Even if it's not, I definitely like to talk for a far greater time about coins than their attention spans put up with. Oh well, maybe someday.

 

I am very lucky in that my local coin club is exceptionally welcoming to new (or in my case, returning) collectors. I find myself spending a lot of time listening to what they have to say, as to a person they know more than I do.

I understand where you are coming from though. Friendship is usually built on some sort of common interests, but that's not the whole story. There is something to be said for "chemistry" between people as well; impossible to explain. It's not unlike dating, in fact... you have to see if you get along and go from there.

I think it's much more difficult to begin and keep up friendships in what seems to have become a much more complex and time consuming world. Long work hours and other factors (some of which may be subject to debate) lead to less time for the real human friendship factor. A few years ago there was an interesting book on this subject called "Bowling Alone." At least it makes me feel less unique in my isolation.

As great as this group is, it's not a complete substitute for that "in person" communication that I think we all need. That's why I will be pleased to attend the local meetings when they start up again after the summer!

 

Alot of guys say when they find a girl that collects they will have found the best friend....but I have looked at many many collectors and sooo few of them have a wife that also collects...
I think the best friend a collector can have is his dealer....my dad is also a collector and so that helps but since we don't collect anything alike sometimes its hard to get him looking at this small S/D or such thing!!!
BUT while my dealer is a good friend....my best friends are on Forums such as CoinTalk!!!

Speedy

 

I had friends like this also but when they found out how much money my coins were making they quit rolling their eyes and started collecting to some extent.

 

Thanks for all the replies...I certainly feel less alone now.

Jhonn...my wife is much the same as yours. She's sweet about it, but disinterested. And, I've also gone the route of talking to myself, but if there were two of me, I don't think we'd get along. :goofer:

And I've tried your approach Silver...only to find one friend who was less than impressed to find that I didn't have any individual pieces worth more than $800 or so, and another who was extremely disappointed when he brought me his mom's "collection" only for me to tell him that there was nothing of any significant monetary value. He seemed to lose all interest after that.

Of course, as with anything, "value" is subjective and some of my favorite pieces aren't "worth" all that much.

I DO like my dealer, and talk with him quite a bit while I'm in the store, but outside of that, this is now officially the longest conversation I've ever had about coins. LOL

Thanks again everyone.

pCG

 

Glad we could be of service. BTW, Calvin and Hobbes are amazing: I honestly believe that the reason my vocabulary is so expansive is due to the fact that I read every C&H book I could get my hands on when I was around 11-13 y.o. Also, 'Bowling Alone' is an excellent investigation into the fall of the participatory American. Read it, join a club, and watch less TV!

 

Not many collectors around our age (okay at 40 I've got a few on you, but not many...). I run into older colelctors mostly, and generally get suspicious looks (like I'm a 10 year old potential shoplifter...) when I go to my local coin shop.
I found one person at work who I got interested, and we still chat, but I've move on to a new job. My wife just thinks of it as another of my 'nerdy' pursuits and we don't talk about it in public. She will look at a new coin and ask what I spent, but has no interest.
It's such a great hobby to have friends in, just to chat and look at each others coins...
Oh well. It's a loner's hobby I guess, despite that.

 

I guess I got another best friend then...lol. I recently found out a girl i know collects coins, too. But she collects world coins...I told her that took all the fun out of it...l She's the only girl my age (14) who collects coins...so I guess that's good, even if they are those darn world coins (haha...)
Bill

 

How would you like to be 17??....I got some weird looks....but most are nice!

Watch out then....that will be the end of you...I can see it now you will start to collect all of the world coins you can find!!

Speedy

 

Speedy,
yeah...I caught myself glancing at the big binder of world coins at the coin shop last week...but i finally said 'no' and turned back to the US beauties-lol
Bill

 

And so begins the slippery plid to the darkside.

 

to CoinTalk, and to the hobby Maestro.

Any friend of Calvin must be a friend of mine.

For some reason the best solution to your "problem" has only gotten slight attention in this thread. Between your dealer, your phone book and a Google search on "Coin club" and the name of your town or metropolitan area, you should be able to come up with information on several coin clubs. You will definitely find others with an interest in coins at their meetings, and if you can find a club that pays particular attention to your favorite area of collecting, you will really have it made.

 

pcg,

Iam 15 years old and a sophmore in a catholic highschool. I hav other hobbies like lacrosse and hockey and iam really athletic and a social young being but i really like coin collecting. Relaxing and exciting while educational and interesting, but when my dad takes my to a shop or show they all treat me like ive just started when ive been collecting for about 2-3 years and know my fair share (or at least more than they give me credit for). Its rather irritating. I also wish i was treated with respect and had a friend who collected coins who didnt treat me like i was 7.


Peter

 

It has happened to all of us that are young....the best thing to do is be nice and listen and learn....the dealers and such at the shows more than likely have been collecting and such long before we were even born and know alot more than we ever will.....and for us to act like we are just as good as them will really tic them off....so its best just to listen and then they in turn will help us out....
I know soooo very little that at shows I pick up sooo much more info than coins!!!

Speedy

 

Hey, this isn't something that is reserved only for the young collector. Even us old, fat collectors run into this same problem from time to time.

 

Well that's hardly fair. You're promising him the girl and the gold at the same time! What chance does he have to resist now?

I agree that the internet has been wonderful for coin collecting. Without it, I'm not sure I would have started collecting again.

 

I know how you feel, none of my friends collect coins (exept I have two who I might manage to convert in the next few months). When I go to the coin shows I am usually working a booth so I do have the avantage to join the ranks of dealers and I have a few "friends" as it were who are dealers at the local shows, as well as the governor of the TNA chapter I belong to.