So I went on my normal round of coin shops yesterday with not much being found at the normal places so I decided to head to an antique shop that sells coins from time to time. There's 3 different spots that have coins in this shop so I went to the first two finding nothing but junk silver marked up pretty high, so I moved to the last showcase which was right up front with the cash register. I asked if I could see some of the coins so the man working came and unlocked the showcase and pulled out one tray of coins, no sooner did he have it out on the counter, a older man comes up next to me and starts looking through the coins with me! He grabbed the nicest looking Walkers before I even had time to scan the entire tray. My wife was with me and I guess he was watching which coins I was looking at, I was so very annoyed with this man I walked away from the coins and came back only when he had cherry picked the coins. I didn't leave empty handed, but it still left a bitter taste in my mouth. I thought it was only young people with no respect for others, I guess it has transferred to the older generations now as well. What would you have done in this situation? I find it very hard to be mean to older people but this made me think about it.
I would have stopped cold, looked him dead in the eyes, and said "Excuse me? I am looking at this tray if you don't mind". If he didn't return the coin to the tray, I would have LOUDLY told the clerk, "I am no longer interested in looking at these since you have such rude customers", and walked out. Public shaming is the only way I know to teach rude people. I have done this on busy bourse floors before, where maybe 100 people heard me. Its not mean, it is teaching them proper courtesy regardless of their age. I will say, though, that I am a jerk so doing something like this doesn't faze me. Many others would be horrified at doing such.
Just look at him and say, are you finished, or should I come back when you are done? I HAVE said: Am I invisible? Or are you blind?
The sad thing is the guy probably wouldn't be shamed at all. He may have just shrugged and thought, what was that guy's problem?
My mother, not my father taught me how to be a wolf. Sheep are all around, a wolf is a leader because they take chances. So, the crux of the story is, don't let Mr. Bully dictate how you wake up every day and walk your path. I would of said one thing to that old man. Hey mister, I was here first and after I am finished you can look at the coins. If he would of said anything to me simple, I would threw my hip into his with haste and looked at the dealer and thanked him for bringing the coins to me. Lucky my 4/11 ft wife wasn't with me. Boy she would ate that guy for lunch. G Btw, my wife of 28 years is Italian and will take up for the bird in the trees that is being bullied. The reason is my wife cares.
I realize that this can be annoying, and maybe the other fellow should have at least had the decency to ask, "Would you mind?", but things like this are going to happen from time to time whether it is an antique shop or a coin show or whatever. I remember one year at the FUN Show I was scanning various tables for medals as I walked down an aisle, and I spotted this large medal in a dealer's case from about 6' away. At 76mm in diameter and 9mm thick, it was hard to miss. There was a couple standing in front of the two cases appearing to be just browsing, but I didn't want to take any chances since they were taking quite a bit of time. So, I moved in to the end of the nearest display case quite close to the man and pretended to be browsing, myself. The medal was in the case farthest from me. I kept leaning more to the right pretending to get a better look at the items in the case, the man would instinctively move a few more inches away and I would "crowd" him once again. Finally, when I was close enough and able to make eye contact with the dealer, I asked to see the medal. Now, I know that this would be no different from what the OP experienced at the antique shop, but in this kind of situation, there is no easy way to accomplish your task without ruffling a few feathers especially when you have already made up your mind that you want to buy a particular item. Let's suppose that I was the considerate type who quietly waited my turn in the background, the couple continuing to browse the cases without asking to see anything in particular, another customer walks by, spots the medal and does something similar to what I did to get the dealer's attention. Do I have the right to say, "Hey, I wanted that!". Sometimes, that's just the way the cookie crumbles. You snooze, you lose! In the OP's case, doing the polite thing allowed the other person the opportunity to take advantage of the situation. If you had been fully committed to buying some of those coins, you should have stood your ground and asked the other customer to wait his turn. Chris
This thread reminds me of a song, I just happen to like the Johnny Cash version of it best. http://youtu.be/ohEHbgZ4mks
I would have definitely been more vocal. If I were making a living cherrypicking, just think this guy might taking food off the table. There is such a thing as courtesy, don't be afraid to lay down the verbal smack down next time. Were you able to find anything that enticed you?
For people like these, who have no sense of respect for others, you must be very firm (yet still remain as polite as you consider yourself to be.) Had this happen to me at a local framing shop. Had my items placed on the counter and was discussing my order with the saleswoman. Another woman came in and began setting about 1,000 pieces of fabric and pictures on the counter. She actually set one of them ON TOP OF MY HAND. I thought, "Okay. I'll let this slide. No need to cause a fuss." I moved her fabric off my hand. Next, she set another piece ON TOP OF MY POSTER. Nope. I said, "Excuse you." and moved it off. She said nothing. Five minutes later, she did it again. I said, "You need to stop setting your junk on top of my poster." She looked at me and mumbled, "I'm sorry." The saleswoman, who had been hard at work completing my order, hadn't noticed this. As I checked out, I explained what had happened and asked if that was normal behavior. She said, "Well, not normally, but that lady is always a little like that. I'll speak with her about what just happened after you leave and let her know she should respect other people's items." Some people have no awareness of their own personal space or the personal space of others. (I regularly deal with this in my line of work...lol) You owe it to the rest of society to politely "educate" them...lol
People are rude. Sheep get herded by wolves and collies. Life ain't fair! That said, I sure don't expect "nice folks" at any kind of money op. I am not surprised by this incident, not at all.
This actually happened to me at a concession stand at a local state park. I walked up to the window where there was a lady standing there who just placed a food order. the only worker in the stand was (i'm assuming) cooking her order. so I stood at the window, a couple steps back, and waited for this guy to notice me. Twice, people came to the window (squeezing between me and the counter), and were waited on. When the third one did this I looked at the lady still patiently waiting for her order and said, 'Do you mind if I ask you a question? You can see me, right?" She chuckled and replied, "Yes, I can". I responded "Good, because I thought I may have become invisible". Both the worker and the customer looked back. The customer steps out the way, obviously irritated, and said (and this is a direct quote) "Excuse me, I didn't see you there". Keep in mind, I'm 5' 10" and 240 lbs, so it's not like I'm a small man. Rudeness seems to be the norm nowadays. It's all about me. And it's usually somebody else's fault.
I usually don't "get" people, but witnessed this (relatively rare) type a few times before. We're not talking accidental thoughtlessness or hasty misunderstandings, here. Like a wealthy klepto woman or attention-seeking hypochondriac, this is a mundane (sociopathic?) form of unprincipled narcissism exhibiting some combination of shamelessness, magical thinking, arrogance, envy, entitlement, exploitation, and bad boundaries. Simply, these jerks routinely cut in line, walk all over others, drive like a maniac, triple-dip a scarce shared resource, etc. Why? Because that works for them, to put others down. It's "complex" because in most examples you'd have to explain it to call it, and folks don't want to even think about motives (theirs or others) much less ennumerate or study behavior patterns. "Does everyone know what a shameless narcissist you are?" might be the best thing to say to egregious offenders, on the spot. Honesty is the best policy