Sounds like you didn't violate eBay rules, and I stand corrected. However, had you used PayPal, you would potentially have a way out of this sticky situation -- and I think you realize this. Regardless, I wish you good luck and hope it does work out.
No one on this forum can really "help" you. You are either looking for sympathy and "it will be ok" or folks who will say "you screwed up, sucks to be you". There are good members and bad members of this forum. Membership does not make us "brothers" by any means. Forum members will turn in ebay listers for selling fakes and posting questionable pics of questionable coins, I happen to not like those who circumvent fees. Since there is no transparency to your claims, nothing can be verified so there is nothing to rat out.