All seriousness if she is SAYING this, but not dropping divorce, maybe (and I dont know if you have already and Im just spitballing from what I have read here) ask her to consider couples counseling or at least mediation. Generally i think when wives or husbands go after hobby collections its more of a personal revenge than an asset split grab (take something you love) like why when athletes get a divorce the wife will demand say, the super bowl ring. Maybe - if you have the desire - you can fix some of the issues that lead her to feel this way and if you do end up separating, it can be more "business" and less personal.
Otis2u. I don't sympathise with you, sorry. We have only seen your view of the story, and your wife doesn't get a cat's chance in hell to tell it from her point of view. Why should we take sides for you, when your wife hasn't got any say at all, on Coin Talk ? Otis 2 U 2 !!!
This will be my last post to this thread. @Otis2u You should ignore the people here, do not post any details publicly, and go seek competent legal advice now from a lawyer living in your jurisdiction. Divorce law varies from state to state, but all states will have provisions that guard against hiding assets, marital waste, conversion, fraudulent conveyances, perjury, etc. Many people here are giving you horrible advice.
I’m going to start by admitting I didn’t read all the comments here as I stopped on the first page. I have some questions for the OP, because it seems half of us are jumping to conclusions: How did she bring up the subject? Does she have something she wants to buy that maybe you can’t afford right now? How long have you been together? Does she have her own hobby? How do you decide when you are allowed to purchase something for your hobby? Does she spend as much money on herself as you do yourself? Have you asked her if she wants a divorce? Has she ever asked you to sell your collection in the past? Question for yourself: how much is your collection worth and how much money could you two have if you sold it? I am still trying to reconcile all of these comments telling a married man, who promised to share the rest of his life with a woman, to hide things from her and keep things only for himself. It is my humble opinion that anything acquired during a marriage, regardless of who bought it, belongs to the family. Sure, it’s your collection, but that money came from your family funds and when you sell the coins, it should go back to your family funds. I feel that the mine vs yours mindset is one of the biggest reasons people are unhappy in relationships, because it often leads to imbalances. Each of you contributes to the entirety of the family, whether it be through money or action. Especially in cases where only one person works, the other usually tends to the home and balances out the family in other ways. What an unfair thing to say that something is “mine” simply because I asked my spouse to stay home and tend to the house and so we bought it with “my” money. How do you put a price on everything the other person did in the marriage, the sacrifices made, the opportunities passed up, to make that other spouse successful? My answer, and consequently also often the legal answer? Half. I have personally experienced a nasty, contested divorce and had my coin collection gone after and I lost half of the value in the end. Here is my advice to you: hide nothing. Talk through everything. If it’s really a divorce on the horizon, make compromises and stay out of court. Do NOT short sale anything to a friend trying to get around splitting it. Don’t play games, don’t lie. If it ever came to court, there’s a thing called “discovery” where you pool all the info on your bank accounts, investments, assets, debts, purchases, etc. and go through them. If you bought a coin with a credit card, it’s going to be on the statement you provide in the discovery. If you have a list of coins you own, she’s going to demand you share that list. You cannot get around this; the very fact that you’ve shared this message publicly means it is too late. Anything acquired during marriage is generally considered owned by both husband and wife (though you should check your state accordingly). Don’t forget that vehicles, investments, bank accounts, furniture, property, etc are all assets that are up for scrutiny in a divorce. IF you wanted to in any way save yourself some money, you could take the coins to a coin store, explain that you need your collection appraised but aren’t selling. Ask for them to provide you some written documentation and pay them for their efforts, or buy a few coins while there. They often offer less than book value and it might save you a little cash if you wish to keep your coins and simply give her half the value. No point in paying book value when you can't sell it for that much. But if you did that, half the value should be coming only out of your half of the pooled assets after the split, and not before. I’m happy to talk to you in a PM if you have more questions about contested divorces. I’m not a lawyer, but I learned a lot from getting burned.
I say this same thing to people who give incorrect advice on coins: I respectfully suggest you stop offering advice in an area you have no knowledge in. What you suggested could land people in serious legal and financial trouble. Having personally gone through this, I can tell you that this is exactly what NOT to do.
You will laugh when you discover that I often had no scruples about deceiving nitwits and scoundrels and fools when I found it necessary. As for women, this sort of reciprocal deceit cancels itself out, for when love enters in, both parties are usually dupes. - Giacomo Casanova Love isn't fair. It isn't right. And it is not fraudulent one bit. Given the chance, she'd sell his coins in a moment's notice. In any case, my feelings will always go out to the coin collector. If you consider the time, love, and money put into our collections, you're damn right it is staying with me at all costs and I encourage others to do the same. I also offered a peaceful stratetgy as well, in case the OP is not so militaristic minded.
OP- Another thing. Don't try to hide assets like we mentioned if your wife knows what you have and has documentation. If that is the case, then yes, your best option is to get legal help. Especially don't do it if she's Numismatically inclined or had involvement in the collection. A lot of this depends on situation, and as another poster mentioned, we don't know the whole story.
This. Get a lawyer (I am not) but it depends on the state you live in and the laws can vary. But I take it you have not been married for 45 yearsyeats? If you have then she is entitled to half of all the asserts including half the value of your collection. If married less than 45 years of your collection building days then she gets half of the appreciated value of the coins you had when you got married to when you got divorced (if some went down in value over that time oh well for her). Then she gets half the value of the coins you bought while married minus the acquisition cost (net value). Suggest this strategy to your lawyer and see what he says...
Where in the hell are you getting these ideas from?? We have a few sentences from the OP with almost nothing to go on and now you're certain she's conniving and going to steal his collection at any moment, so it's okay for him to lie and steal? Seriously, folks, this has to STOP, you are demonizing someone you know absolutely NOTHING about and telling the OP to do something that is, in many states, illegal.
It does not sound like a divorce is currently in the works. That might change things drastically (I don’t know). Talk with a lawyer to see what your options are before things become official. Why is she wanting you to sell your collection? Is it taking too much of your time? Is it straining the family finances? Is it just a money grab? There is too much information missing for us to make any sound judgement. What I would do if my collection was a major factor in straining my marriage would be to pare it down to a couple dozen core pieces and put the proceeds in an investment vehicle that couldn’t be accessed immediately. I would value my marriage more than keeping my entire collection.
I am the luckiest man in the world. My wife actually wants to see what I pick up at coin shows, and tells me that if we have the money, I can buy whatever I can afford. Not once has she asked how much I paid for anything, or hinted about me needing to sell something.
I can say this . I'm going to flip the table here and put myself in his wife shoe . I've been married for 25 years . My wife jewelry collection would blow most people minds . It's at least worth a hundred thousands dollars . She also has quite the purse collection too . Why would I ever go after these collections, in a divorce . We have two boys, one day they will own them after their mother passes . I'll say it again . She just thinking about herself . I would think after forty years, they have children . She could care less about anything other then herself . And I'll bet money, when all the smoke clears . His children get hurt the most ...
So dig out that jar of circulated pocket change and let her divide it in 2 piles...make sure she looks at ALL the dates so you both get equal piles. Then tell her all the coins you have are essentially face value coins so she may as well keep your pile too and you'll start collecting again. The ones in the safe she doesn't know how to get into she shouldn't be bothered with.
Quickly sell your entire collection to your best friend and you provide the money. She gets $5000 and a week after the divorce is final you get your collection back. Your buddy gets a case of his favorite beer and a pizza just like he would for helping you move. Make sure you ask for half of whatever she collects. That can be used to trade for something that you want. Also demand half of the house since you probably made all of the payments. No need to be violent but don't be stupid either. good luck,
Second option. Gather up her and every coin you have. Take them all to the crookedest pawn shop in town and ask for their purchase offer. Whatever it is pay her for her share on the spot and get a receipt. Thank the man for his time and give him a couple of silver dollars then go home. If you want to be extremely generous pay her the entire amount he offers.
