Numismatics damaging to family life

Having spent $10,000 on coins this month might have had something to do with my partner taking my two young
ones and leaving me on Monday. No, this isn't a joke. Having now actually looked (you have more time to look when
no-one else lives with you) at the condition of my property, I kind of see where she's coming from. I guess the sink
not being connected to the wall, the dry rot in the sitting room, the ants issue, and half a dozen other things might
actually get on your nerves if you are not in employment and actually have to stay in the place all day with a 4yr old
and a 6yr old for Company. Now she's gone I've painted the sitting room and have a joiner coming round tomorrow.
Shutting the gate after the horse has bolted springs to mind.......coins, like smoking and drinking alcohol can seriously
damage your whole life!

 

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Sorry to hear about your troubles.

I agree completely. It is an issue when it becomes an addiction and stops being a hobby and family finances start suffering because of it.

Like drinking and the like..moderation is the key.

Don't let coins collect you.

 

I don't think I have done much in moderation since I was 6. I was a competitive bodybuilder in my 20's and then got into education and ended up with several post grad degrees inc a Ph.D and many other management and professional qualifications......balance and moderation isn't me......we're hard wired in my view.

 

I’m the same way, once I become enthralled in an activity it becomes all consuming. People look at me strangely when I tell them that I do not want to get married or have kids. The reasoning behind my decision is knowing that I would end up in the same situation that you are in. I basically want to do what I want to do all of the time, and do not want my assumed responsibilities to others to interfere with that. People tell me that I sound selfish when I say that, but I feel that it is just the opposite. It would be selfish of me to marry a woman or to have kids when I know that I would inevitably not provide enough of my time and/or not fulfill their emotional needs.

But that is neither here nor there. You’ve assumed responsibilities to your family and it sounds like you’ve come to the realization that you’ve got some issues to deal with. Just gotta man up and deal with them, and it sounds like you started along that path as well. If you do not have a family then you can put other things first, but when you do have a family then your priority list is non-negotiable.

 

Dude you have a huge problem. Get psychiatric help, stat.

 

I am not a therapist, I just play one online.
The root of the probably lies with you, and only you can fix it. You have to make the decision. Only you can decide what is more important to you? Your family, or the stack of metal?
Maybe it's time to walk away from it. Find a hobby that the kids and partner could also participate in. I don't know the answer.
At the very minimum, put yourself in their shoes and talk about it.

I'll bill you later...$10k

 

The Midas syndrome: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midas

Too bad there isn't a 12 steps program for greed.

I met a psychologist at the Free State project "porcupine festival" in N. New Hampshire some years ago. He offers online consultations and there are quite a few others probably willing to do this though face to face is probably better.

The 12 steps (gambling):

http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/content/recovery-program

 

Well, I'm very sorry to learn of your predicament. It's particularly hard when there are children involved. It just proves that all the education in the world can't help where common sense is concerned.

Chris

 

It takes a big man to admit their mistakes and clearly priorities are off here. I don't know what the leading help sites are on the internet. This is not one of them. Plus psychologists want to see people face to face. A couple of years ago I asked a minister if he could recommend one, and he made a good recommendation. Many ministers are good at this but you need to be a member of some church. 12 step meetings are good to hear others share what is going on in their lives and also to mention their hopes, strengths and lessons they have learned. Lists are online for any given state, both AA and Al-Anon welcomes new members and will help them deal with whatever the problem is. Good luck.

 

Oh what compassion my American friends. I'm actually an incredibly dedicateed father who does all the things a father has an opporunity to. I also pay for private dancing classes and just about anything else my daughter wants/needs......my son is four and I just paid for the hire of a large hall, catering staff, Ben 10 cake, and food for all his guests at his birthday. All I'm saying is that I also spend more than I should on my hobby/addiction and don't keep the house in tip-top shape, well shape anyway. So hold fire with the staight jacket and psyc sessions.


As for the 'root probably lies with you,'.....'no she made me do it.' As for midas and 12 steps for greed, I'm greedy enough thanks and don't need to learn to be more greedy (thanks anyway), as for common sense, I put a dust sheet down on the floor before I started painting the walls today. By the way CT is doing wonders for my self esteem as this low point in my life......any pro bono lawyers out there?

 

We all screw up in life. However, it's not our screw-ups that define us, it's how we confront the problems spawned by them, and the actions we take in the aftermath that define us as men (and women, too!). Admitting you have an issue is the first step to recovery, so I congratulate you for taking that first step, and I wish you the best of luck with solving the issues that have come about as a result of your addiction.

 

Only divided by a common language, enough said.......

 

You can have multiple sets of priorities. You obviously have one to your family or this wouldn't be an issue for you. And you have one with your hobby (s). We all do this to some degree and there's nothing wrong with that. Once in a while those priorities cross wires and you have to sit back and take the time to untangle them. Sounds like you're doing the right thing now so hopefully it all works out for the best.
Guy

 

Ah, you must be thinking of coins from Soviet Russia. :yes:

 

I would sell off what you can of your collection, get your house back into livable and sanitary condition and come to a compromise with your family for your time and a budget. And be sure to honor your commitment to the compromise that is agreed upon.

-LTB

 

I find the 'advice' in dealing with my coin problem on a dedicated coin forum the most ironic and hilarious thing I've ever read. It's a bit like getting advice for your sex addiction from the back pages of Hustler......(not that I'm aware of such a publication).

 

Perhaps, but you're the one who brought it up here. Thats irony.
Guy

 

I agree GDJMSP. And I'm glad to see my emotional, familial and legal turmoil has increased my number of likes on CT.

 

It isn't a question of compassion. If you are spending $10,000 a month, and losing your family over what is obviously an addiction, it isn't a question of interpretation. There is a problem there, unless you have the finances to spend $10,000 a month on coins. I am rather comfortable financially, and have total family support in my hobby, and I'd never spend $10k a month, no matter what. It isn't worth losing family and things that one loves over some coins. Then, it isn't a hobby, but a problem.