Funny Stuff.....

One of the other forums I belong to has a thread with numismatic related jokes. Maybe some of you have a few rib ticklers to post. Here's one of my favorites to kick things off:
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A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around here much."

The twenty answered, "I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for a while, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"

The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff ... church, church, church."

 

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lol. I was expecting the dollar bill to say something dirty.

 

hahahahaahaah so was I

 

HaHa

 

Steve

 

the one's and two's hang around the strip joints.
Dean 295

 

Lol, cute joke.

Surprised we dont have more jokes in relation to coins or currency here.

 

Okay, here's another:

A counterfeiter decided that the easiest way to pass off his phony $18 bills would be to unload them in some small rural town, so he drove until he found a tiny town with a single general store. He entered the store, went up to the counter, and handed one of the bogus bills to the man behind the counter. "Could you change this for me, please?"

The store clerk looked at the bill for a few seconds then smiled at the man. "Of course I can. Would you prefer two $9 bills or three $6 bills?"

 

Haha, nice.

 

I got one:
A Lincoln Cent and Jefferson Nickel were sitting on a table. The reverse of the cent had an error and was missing Lincoln from the memorial. It turns out that he just went over to visit Monticello.

 

Did any one else picture the General Store Manager as "Sam Drucker" of Hooterville Fame?! (Petticoat Junction/Green Acres). I wonder if Arnold Ziffell is passing those $6 or $9 bills! GREAT JOKE! Thanks for posting!
Steve

 

This one is more of a brain teaser than a joke, so don't expect a clever punchline ending.

People were driving flat-out, racing to safety, staying ahead of an approaching tornado. Three of them arrived at a motel at bout the same time. Only one room was available, a large one having two twin beds and a couch that converted into another twin bed. In view of the circumstances, the three strangers agreed that they could cope with this arrangement for one night. The regular fee for the room was $30.00 a night, so each man handed his $10.00 share to the desk clerk.

As time passed and the storm raged, the desk clerk came to the conclusion that having strangers sharing a room was an inconvenience and that they had been overcharged. Therefore, he gave the bellboy $5.00 and instructed him to return the money to the three occupants. The bellboy knew that he couldn't equally divide the $5,00 among the three men, so he returned a dollar to each man and pocketed two dollars for himself.

In the final, each man wound up paying $9.00 or 3 X 9 = $27. The bellboy's pocketed $2.00 brings the total to $29.00. Since $30.00 was originally collected by the desk clerk, where did the other $1.00 go?

 

Hmmmmmmmm thats a good one. I don't know---to the IRS?

 

Was confusing for a few minutes. Nice play on wording. Each stranger paid out $10 and was returned $1. Instead of focusing Where the $27 Goes it misleads you to look at the bell hop's $2.. The truth is that they did indeed pay $27 ($9 each) but they actually paid $25 ($30-$5) to the hotel and they also paid $2 to the bellhop although they didn't know it.
$8.34 each to the hotel =$25 + -
.66 cents each to the bellhop= $2 = -
$1 returned to each= $3
$25+$2+$3=$30

Richard

 

Hopefully this won't offend any Scotsmen on this forum.... here's an oldie:

How was copper wire invented?













Two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.

 

No need to fret about offending Scotsman's feelings. Feelings are a luxury, and they are known to be too thrifty to afford any. In fact, during WW II, RAF pilots knew when their bombing mission was successful and they were safely home. All they had to do was look out the window and down, and they saw toilet paper drying on clotheslines. Then they knew they were over Scotland. How thrifty is that???

To preclude misunderstanding, this was a popular joke during WW II. As a child, I recall many jokes being told about any and all national groups. Being of German heritage, my family was the target of the worst. We weren't offended and responded by telling one funnier than the one directed towards us. It was war time, everyone contributed something, everyone innovated to overcome shortages and we thrived on the harsh humor that resulted from a difficult situation. It bound us together, making us tougher, wiser and better Americans.

 

My previous boss's father was an old Scot and he was never at a loss for jokes and the one I posted was his favorite. He used to keep a small piece of copper wire that was wound up in a tight little ball and when ever he met some one, he would take it out and say that that was his share of the penny the he pried from his father's fingers for his allowance.

 

I could tell a few Welsh/Sheep jokes but if I did I would have to Ban myself :foot-mouth:

 

Are you referring to the ram who fell of a mountain trail because he couldn't make a ewe turn?

 

okay.... now I know 2 clean Scottish jokes.