Hi all, last time I even slightly even mentioned my wife’s wishes in here I was quickly attacked that this wasn’t a place to discuses negative comments about our wives or divorce? Now I see all kinds of comments again? All I had said was my wife recently announced to me, out of the blue, that she wanted me to quickly (Sell) off my entire 45 year collection of coins and she wanted 1/2 the proceeds? Yes, the big (D) is casting its shadow over me and my Hobby? Hope it doesn’t happen to any other coin collector!
Does she know how many coins you own ? If not, get them out of the house and tell her to suck wind .. Nothing she can do, either .........
I already mentioned to you what I said in my divorce 14 years ago.. I told her my collection was stolen!
Hide your assets, hide your assets, and hide them again. Technically your collection is an asset. Just make sure you know where to access them. If she was not actively involved in the building of your collection, this should be fairly easy. As Mr. Stachowski mentioned, does she know or have documentation of what you own? If not, and she presses you, you could build a "decoy" collection or even select minor stuff you wouldn't mind parting with to get her off your back. Also OP- What state do you live in? You need to determine if you live in a community property state or not. If you live in a community property state, only the coins that you purchased during the course of the marriage are subject to community property. If you do not live in a community property state, the assets will be in the hands of the lawyers that are dividing up the estate. Regardless, I would say to just move them and store all of your coins out of her hands. Another question: did you ever use your coin collection as collateral as an asset? Obviously she has devious purposes. This is war. "All warfare is based on deception." - Sun Tzu
Sad to hear this. Why guess, though? Have a conversation and tell her what you're thinking/wondering/feeling. There's always something to negotiate. She wants half the coins, then you get half her jewelry, right?
Be careful. If it goes to court you don't want to lie to the judge. They get really upset with lies and they see it everyday. Negotiate something fair from the start or get ready to give it to the lawyers.
Sorry you are going through this. Sounds like she is looking for 1/2 the proceeds and not 1/2 the collection. Maybe “gift” the prized portion of your collection to a trusting family member willing to “regift” it to you at a later date. Sell the US Mint items with a paper trail or other dreck you really don’t want in a single lot to a local coin dealer and give her half of these proceeds.
It's times like this that good record keeping comes into play. There may be taxes to pay. One more thing that should be considered.
If you were going through a divorce, would you, as a Numismatist, want to part with something so intimate as your collection? Not starting an argument I'm just asking, because put yourself in that situation Idhair. Imagine the pain. You're already broken hearted, and something you've put so much time into you have to break up?
Another, less militaristic solution to the OP would be to buy her out, total value, and keep the collection.
She will mention this collection to the lawyer. For all you know , she may have photos she took of the extent , because if you are trying to be this devious, it probably won't be the first time and she is probably well aware of your inclinations. Reveal to your lawyer what you have and ask him to help protect it. She should also have things she wants to keep whole also~ cars, house, kids, etc. so make a fair deal or it will come back to bite hard. Lying about this is a real way to get into deep legal trouble. IMO. Jim
Not to be smart, but I'm DAMNED glad I didn't get married. I feel so much pain for the OP it isn't funny. We don't know his whole story. If she isn't aware, he could still safely hide his collection at least, and walk away with his collection. This is all depending on his circumstances. ETA: OP, I sincerely hope you are posting via a VPN so she can't track your posts here.......
I would take any of the ideas presented in this thread and take them to a lawyer (specifically a divorce lawyer from your state who is well versed on the laws) and work out the best course of action. My thinking is that it would be best to sell the collection to a very (and I mean very) trusted friend or family member for a small amount so you can buy it back later. But again, speak with a lawyer before you take any action. Good luck.
