eBay issue, opinions needed

"I had actually expected the seller to message me and ask if he could cancel and would’ve likely accepted."

Since your intention was to allow him to cancel anyway, should he ask, I would let it go and just avoid that seller in the future.

I, personally, would contact him and say, "What the heck. I was trying to work out a deal with you on other coins and you cancel my purchase?" Nonetheless, I wouldn't be opposed to you leaving neutral feedback, however.

 

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Thanks for the tip, but don't worry, I know what I'm buying when I buy from less than reputable countries and I'm not buying US coins.

 

The problem is that he didn't contact me and ask, he worked around me. It's like someone coming up and asking for a dollar as opposed to taking it when I'm not looking. I'm likely to give the dollar up anyway, but if you take it without my approval, then there's a problem. Did my analogy make sense?

 

Good points, but it was purchase March 08 and he cancelled it this morning and did not bring up the shipping issues until yesterday, despite speaking with me on the 9th and 10th. Also, his English is certainly strong enough to have lengthy discussions with me, so I won't say that language here is an issue.

 

So I contacted him and asked why he canceled. He said that he gave me 20 hours to respond and I had responded in as little as 6 hours previously, so he felt it was fair to cancel. He has legitimate concerns, that shipping to me takes specifically longer than is allowed for eBay (as it takes over 20 days) and I could technically open a claim and get my money back, even when the items are en route. I recommended to him that he remove my type of address from his "ship to" locations if he's going to do that again. I think I'm just going to walk away. I'm mad but it's not that big of a deal...

 

He can exclude countries from his mail list if he chooses to do so. That would be my suggestion if he is afraid to mail to the US.

 

No, I get it. Ticks you off. Stewing over it will probably give you a bigger headache than its worth.

 

Look at his other seller feedback - if it's a recurring issue, you should add your negative comment as well - if he seems to be legit, leave a neutral comment - cancelling is not as bad as taking your money and not shipping at all.

 

Actually, I have an APO address, which complicates things. That’s why I’m understanding of his concern; I’m just mad he canceled it.

 

That might be the issue - Russian postal regulations may not allow shipments to APO/FPO (military) addresses - national security reasons, etc.

 

The actual issue is that deliver takes longer than 20 days, which violates eBay policy. He can remove APOs from his listing.

 

It doesn't matter if you leave feedback that's neg/neutral as Ebay will remove it for the seller if it's a cancelled sale.

 

THanks for the input everyone. I’m just going to walk away and not buy from again.

 

First, kudos on the more thoughtful/reasonable approach. There's little lower than someone with just a little bit of power eagerly willing to use it to punish others based upon pure emotion.

When it comes to things like this, ask yourself if you prove the other party's claims false. Not suspect, think, feel likely, etc, etc, but can you actually prove with absolute certainty that they're lying? Let's spin this around, say you're the seller, and that you discovered some issue with a buyer's address; if the buyer didn't believe it, do you feel they rightfully have grounds to neg you? Basically, just apply the golden rule: if you wouldn't want to be negged, don't be the petty person who holds themselves to a different standard than they hold others to.

This is a good example of how discourse is a much better option than simply assuming the worst (as many folks here just love to do).

That said, and again with emotion aside, if this is true can you honestly blame him? Perhaps he was a tad quick to assume sufficient time had passed, but he did reasonably base it upon past interaction. Even more important is if eBay policy doesn't take realistic shipping times into account, can anyone here really blame the guy for not wanting to open himself up to the possibility of eBay-promoted thievery? I'm sure someone would try to make the case that he should've known ahead of time, but does it really matter? If an honest oversight, he's going to protect himself in future listings. If not, sooner or later someone will nail him for it, so what is there to gain by punishing him for what could very well be something he wasn't aware of at the time of sale?

There's nothing wrong with being upset or frustrated over things not working out, but this doesn't mean the other guy genuinely deserves to pay for hurt feelings. In the real world, sometimes things simply do not work out for perfectly reasonable reasons and is just a part of life. For what it's worth, I think walking away is not only the big thing to do, but also says much about your character. Well played imo.

 

Your only solution as I see it, having some dealings with EBAY Seller--- who play a game on the buyer is to leave Negative Feedback. This will tell other buyers there is a problem with this Seller. I will share a horror story with you on Ebay. It is a neat trick but only cost you time. The Seller will purchase postage and tracking from EBAY. The trick is when does the Seller mail it? Ebay will give you tracking information and when you look it up the item is still with the Seller - maybe for weeks. This is rare but it has happened to me a couple of times. The solution he is to open a complaint when its allowed - usually the Seller will then drop it in the mail.

 

I just cancel and let it go way to much drama and postal fees.

 

Did you bother to actually read the entire thread before posting? Honest question.

 

It's nice that you can understand your Russian sellers circumstance when mailing to you at an APO address. I advise you to contact a seller on Ebay BEFORE bidding on an item so that mailing issues can pre-discussed. Aloha & have a great day!

 

Thank you for your thoughts. I know that I’m prone to be short tempered and I also have extremely high expectations of myself above all and others. In that, I often assume that mistakes like this are intentional because I overthink things and would not have done the same thing. I’m working on changing this. It’s much easier to do when it’s electronic and I have time to sit and think.

As a follow up, we spoke for a bit and he stuck with his belief that his timespan was justified. At this point, it’s a normative argument and we are both right, so no point in arguing that. He offered to sell me the coins again, for the same price, suggesting he would keep his word, as long as I accepted a delayed delivery schedule.

This time, he dropped the shipping costs to $6 and then I paid $20 for the items instead of the $1. Same total price for me, but differently balanced.

What does this mean? I get the coins for the same price, netting me $5 and he gets the assurance of accepting a later delivery as well as another satisfied customer.

I truthfully think that the seller handled this in the most professional way possible, especially when I, as the customer, suggested I felt he was being dishonest.

I’ve got no reason at this point to believe that he intentionally canceled the order because of the low sell price. Technically, he pulled in $19 more than previously, but that’s not really my concern as I still make money on the purchase. He will get positive feedback and five stars all around when the coins arrive.

This does go to show that initial impressions and understandings can be wrong, or at the least, that discourse is better than hasty actions out of frustration. Sometimes asking for more information and being a little patient can pan out in the long run.

Thank you everyone, for your input.

 

Seattlite86 ... my advice... let it go .. it's your first lesson with dealing with International sales, especially coins... next time... just pay the seller and then it will be on him/her to determine what to do when the sale ends up too small or short to accept ! Ebay sellers are aware of what happens when they start at .99 cents ... LOL You do know that Russia has that new nerve agent that is odorless and highly toxic, right ?? The UK police can't even clean-up the Pub yet... it's that toxic.