OT, Sorta: The Presidential Election. Shudder

This is a copy of my most recent blog entry. My apologies if anyone is offended.

Tomorrow is the U.S. presidential election, the day when we go to the polls and cast a vote for the person we want to be president. Or maybe just cast a vote against the person we don't want to be president. I suspect a lot of us are doing the latter, because clearly, that other candidate is terrible. If the opponent wins it will be disastrous for our country--for the entire world, even. My favored candidate may not be perfect, but the other candidate would just destroy our whole country. So let's all unite and save the world from that terrible person running on the other party's ticket. Edited : political ! The point is that if our side loses, we will end up with the worst leader in the history of western civilization. The thought of the other party winning this election is so frightening to me that I'm compelled to look for some kind of diversion just to keep my hands from shaking and my head from exploding.

Think I'll look through my collection of ancient Roman coins; that always helps to calm me down.

Oh, look: here's a coin of the emperor Caligula:

He reigned for four years, from 37-41 A.D. Shortly into his reign, he decided that he was a god and had the Roman Senate declare him so. He led his troops on an invasion of England, got as far as the English Channel, declared a victory and commanded his troops to collect seashells. He also appointed his favorite race horse to the Senate.

Ah, a bronze of Nero:

He got to be emperor through the finagling of his mother, who probably bumped off his stepfather, the emperor Claudius I. Shortly thereafter he repaid her for her efforts by having her murdered. His extravagance and cruelty was so great that it led to a civil war, during which he was captured and executed.

Jumping ahead in time a bit, we find Commodus:

Commodus became emperor in 177 A.D., after the death of his father, Marcus Aurelius. He became convinced that he was the living embodiment of Hercules and fought regularly in gladiatorial contests, which he always won. But eventually, some people got tired of always letting him win and bribed one of his wrestling partners to strangle him. Oh, and his death in 192 A.D. also led to a civil war.

A few years later we find Caracalla:

Quite possibly the meanest ruler of the entire Roman Empire, (although admittedly this is not certain because the competition is so great), Caracalla fought constantly with his younger brother and co-emperor, Geta. It got to the point that the two of them stopped communicating with each other, even through they were responsible for running the Empire together. Their mother, Julia Domna, grew alarmed at their constant fighting and subsequent dysfunctional rule, so she asked both her boys to meet with her and attempt a reconciliation. Yielding to her wishes, the boys met at her palace, whereupon Caracalla promptly killed Geta in front of his mother and then forbade her to cry or morn for her slain son.

Here's a denarius of Elagabalus:

He became emperor largely through the schemings of his grandmother, Julia Maesa:

Unfortunately, his erratic behavior, which included dressing as a woman and prostituting himself after hours in Roman dive bars, proved so disruptive to Julia Maesa's plans to run the Empire through her grandchildren that she had him killed and replaced by a different grandchild.

Carausius was a trusted general of the emperor Maximian Herculius. When piracy on the English Channel became a serious problem during Maximian's reign, the emperor relied on Carausius to clear the channel of pirates. Carausius did not let him down. At first. After ridding the channel of all the pirates, Carausius himself took up piracy, raiding ships and keeping all the loot for himself. When he got word that Maximian was sending another general to kill him, Carausius fled to Britain and founded his own breakaway Empire. He was murdered after a few years by Allectus, one of his trusted generals.

For brevity's sake, we'll skip much of the 3rd century simply because just about every emperor during that time was murdered by one of their own generals, who then had himself declared emperor and was subsequently murdered by one of his generals. One exception, however, was Carinus. He was most likely murdered by one of his soldiers of lesser rank after seducing the soldier's wife.

I could go on and on, but I think I'll wrap this up after considering one last emperor: Constantine the Great.

After fighting off several competitors to the throne, Constantine emerged as co-emperor with his brother-in-law,Licinius. But Constantine wasn't satisfied with being co-emperor, and he was soon at war with Licinius over control of the Empire. Constantine's troops defeated those of Licinius, but Constantine spared Licinius' life due to the entreaties of his own wife, Fausta, who was also Licinius' sister. That is, until he changed his mind and had him killed anyway, along with his 11-year-old son, Constantine's nephew, Licinius II. Two years later, Constantine had his own son, Crispusexecuted--to this day no one is sure why--and shortly after, had Fausta murdered in her bath. (And you thought Caracalla was cold-hearted.)

And now, after thumbing through my ancient coin collection, I no longer feel so bad about the choices that I'll face at the polls tomorrow. It never fails.

 

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This made me laugh! Thanks for bringing a little coin humor into tomorrow's US presidential election.

 

Thanks for the post and yup, dreading the day myself. I don't care for either of them. I'm voting third party, which I am registered as anyways.

The Props here in L.A. are also huge, in number.

 

Go my party's candidate! The other is too awful to even contimplate. But, hey, as @gsimonel has so wittily pointed out, it could be worse. Or could it?

 

Here's some coins to look at--you know, to take your mind off the election:

 

We Rock!!

... It's like a retro-70's party up here in Canada!!

 

Random "Winna-Winna-Chicken-Dinna" post...


I want @stevex6 to THINK of this pic EVERY TIME he says that winna-winna... saying!




RI Prv Thrace Deultum Tranquillina 241-244 CE Æ 22mm 6.6 g Hermes purse caduceus SNG Bulgaria 1504-8

 

No way in hell this thread is going to make it past the mods, but I do agree with the OP.
How about a coin from another bad boy of Rome.

Honorius AR Siliqua
407/8 CE
Rome mint
1.26 grams
Honorius isn't a bad Emperor for the same reasons as Gauis or Commodus are. No, he was a weak willed, impotent fool who let a weak but still powerful Empire collapse, all the while he was off behind the walls of Ravenna playing with his pet chicken!
I wouldn't mind puttin five across his lips!

 

Instead of a do-nothing president, here's a do-nothing emperor:

Libius Severus, Western Roman Empire
AE nummus
Obv: D N LIBIVS SEVERVS P F AVG, pearl-diademed, draped bust right
Rev: Monogram of Ricimer within wreath
Mint: Rome; struck 461-467 AD (Libius Severus reigned 461-465 AD)
Ref: RIC X 2715



Propped up as emperor by the Master of Soldiers Ricimer, Libius Severus was merely a puppet ruler. He did nothing major in the four years of his reign (461-465 AD), and was disregarded as emperor by most of the few Roman territories left in the west, and also by the eastern emperor Leo. Ricimer himself was seen as a king by other barbarian rulers.

 

I think my registration didn't go through. Didn't get anything in the mail like everybody else did. Guess California loses an irrelevant vote then..

 

Well you are correct. The OP did write the satire well except for one part that I removed that would have caused its demise. You notice that it no longer mentions the name or descriptive characteristic that would favor any candidate. That would make it political beyond just editing. However the problem is if some supporter of a specific candidate felt his comments favoring a specific direction just HAD to be published due to mention of candidates, then that person might be no longer with us. So stay safe, let the course of insanity go by , and remain a member. We are as serious about the bad language, religion, and politics rules as some in this forum are about the lack of need of slabbing an ancient coin. Good evening, Jim

 

And most disturbing photo of the day goes to...

 

Hmm. I tried to keep it non-partisan, but I guess I let some of my own personal bias slip through. Thanks for cleaning it up and keeping me from initiating a flame war. It's nice to have a moderator to keep you from looking like a fool, or worse.

 

LOL, yeah it was a RANDOM find on the sky-net. I laughed my "bottom" off when I saw it and immediately thought of @stevex6 's silly "winna-winna..." saying!

It is a very disturbing pic...... I hope that this will get Steve to VOTE today! Yeah he is a Canadian, yeah he lives forever north in Northern Manitoba... but with that pic, the OP's edited hilarious post, Steve would be INSPIRED to jump into his NEW CAR that is EATING his coin budget and run down to the border to cast his single Canadian Vote to make every thing good in American-Land!

 

I really enjoyed the satire as well.

I'm about to go to the polls and as a registered 'Independent', who tends to split 'tickets', I ALWAYS experience an enormous amount of angst and confusion whenever I vote

 

This was fantastic. I stood in line 2 hours to vote today, this was just what I needed.

 

I voted at about 9 AM. I parked near the door and was greeted inside by "You're next." The man said they had huge lines at 6 AM (people on their way to work) and expected a lunch rush and evening crowd but most people I saw there were my age. I was out again within 5 minutes. It all depends on where you live. Until the government decides elections are important enough to make the day a holiday, people who work have to be creative as to when they vote and old guys can waltz up to the door unopposed.

 

I sincerely hope I am wrong, but I cannot help but think its all rigged anyway. edited

 

Just got back from voting. My first time ever.



Thought it was appropriate to bring a coin of the Republic with me as well, to mark this occasion

 

As a Canuck,Very amusing postAs for the election very amusing also